My sweet eternal burden
by DanielaRossi
Summary: Casey is willing to go down with him. For him. For every little fragment of hi mind. Warning: DARK dasey.


**A.N.= Italics and bolds are Flashbacks. **

"Baby..."

She promptly looked up from the couch she was lying on.

"Come on."

It had become a ritual. Anytime their parents would go out for the weekend with the other kids, leaving the two of them alone, she'd patiently wait for him to call her upstairs. The staggering awareness of how morbid they had been since that curse first occurred never really subsided within her. She had simply come to terms with the fact that he was going to take her down with him. She slowly followed his footsteps, her eyes never moving from his back as tears began to form into them.

_They were both fifteen the first time everything just came crushing down, emotionally draining her. The parents had gone visit Grandma Venturi and they'd been left back at the house as a punishment for their constant fighting. _

_Fighting. _

_That night he was sitting on the floor across the living room. His head was just feeling so light. Dizzy as it hadn't been in such a long time. His lips were chapped and dry. Almost numb like the rest of his body. No perception of time. No sensation. _

_She came home after spending the whole afternoon at Emily's, only to find him sitting there on the floor, a conspicuous stain radiating from the crotch of his night pants. She rushed to his side, a look of disgust appearing on her face as he kept staring blankly at the wall ahead of him. Blinking several times, as she still couldn't believe the sight in front of her, she tried to kneel down a bit to meet his gaze. "Oh my gosh, Derek… this is so revolting! You've never gone this low before! Just… What did you do! You're so…"_

_**He was lying naked on the couch, his long blond curls almost hiding his face as his tiny body was shivering before her eyes. A warm, white liquid staining the cushions. **_

"_**Oh Derek! You've never done this before! What did you do! Maybe baby Derek is too old to still be playing this with Mommy, ain't he?" **_

"_STOP!" he suddenly shouted , getting up from the floor and causing her to jump backwards at his sudden overreaction. Inarticulate sounds escaped his lips as his blood shot eyes kept staring at her, his breathing racing erratically. "MOMMY, JUST STOP!" _

_As soon as he had turned to face her, she knew he was gone. He simply seemed to be looking right through her, lost as he was in some other world his mind had tricked him into. No way he could hear her. Little did she know that the first time she was cut out of his universe was to become the most fateful event of her life. _

"_Little Derek stinks. Mommy is gonna give baby Derek a bath! Come on, baby!" He started to cry hysterically, his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets as his pupils rotated upward. His teeth showed through his stretched lips and they looked almost like fangs. He was patting her hair frantically, his hallucinated gaze wandering over her body. _

"_Derek! Derek, please… Derek!"_

She reached out to trace the outline of his jaw with her thumb, feeling the muscles on his face tense even more. He was frenetically rubbing her back as she was sitting in the bath, shivering although she barely felt the cold water around her body.

"Little Derek stinks. Little Derek should cut his hair."

His other hand was searching furiously between her legs, vigorously stroking the spot.

"Derek! BE A GOOD BOY TO MOMMY!"

She remained silent, a few tears escaping her eyes he practically forced her head to rest against his chest, as he hovered over the bath some more. "I love you, Derek. One day I'll tell you."

"Little Derek needs MOMMY!"

"_**Open your legs for me, baby**__!" He held her wrists, restraining her to the bed. "__**DEREK! BE A FUCKING GOOD BOY FOR MOMMY**__…"_

_She kept sobbing, unable to move as the weight of his body pinned her to the matrass. He began biting every inch of her shivering form, leaving wet, red marks on her already bruised skin. _

"_Derek… Derek, please… no…"_

_Suddenly she felt no more. Numbness embraced her still, incoherent thoughts clouding her mind, dulling her senses. She barely registered the piercing pain in her lower body, or his wicked, frantic smile moving up and down above her face. No sound to be heard, she tilted her head to one side and let her empty gaze wander around the dark room. No prayers._

_A few hours afterwards, she was still lying motionless on his bed, unable to move. Her body didn't hurt, she just felt as if a whole millennium had passed, leaving her to rot away before she could even take notice. The weight of the world was just pressing right above her chest, everybody's sins, everybody's dark secrets, everybody's madness, they were all buried within her. _

_He was breathing hard against the pillow next to her. Although she was staring at the ceiling, she could still feel his eyes piercing her through the darkness. He wasn't moving either. No trace of his previous agitation. _

"_Just shut up. I'll tell Casey, ok?" his voice came in as barely a whisper._

_A small, single sob managed to escape her lips as she gritted her teeth, her exposed skin shivering once more. "Who are you talking to, Derek?"._

"_Mark."_

"_Who's Mark, Derek. And where is he?"_

"_He's lying behind me. He's here. I mean, around the house. Every now and then."_

_She slowly turned to her side, her back aching from the movement. She looked at him, before lightly lifting her head up from the pillow to stare at the empty spot behind his body. He had finally calmed down. _

"_Who is Mark, Derek?"_

"_You can't see him. Nobody does." A small tear rolled down his cheek as his fingers clenched the covers slightly._

_She hoped for him to register her touch when she reached out to graze his forehead with her fingers. All the disgust and hatred she expected to feel towards him had just turned into dullness. That night had just been the end of her, and she knew it._

"_I can't see him, Derek."_

"_I know I hurt you. I'm so sorry. I just… I missed Mark. And just feeling things that…" He inhaled deeply, pausing to try to find the right words. "That I'm not supposed to feel."_

_She took a deep breath too, feeling herself on the verge of tears despite the lack of any sort of sensation within her. "Why does Mark come here, Derek…"_

"_It's just that this was the first time Dad left me alone here after a long time. He made me promise… Mark, wait, I'm talking to her now. It's important."_

"_Derek…"_

"_I hate taking the meds, Case. The new ones make me sleepy all the time. And I just don't feel anything. I don't feel real. I feel as if I was Mark… I feel as if I was not really there. I hate it Case."_

_She slowly started to sob, as she promptly retrieved her hand from his forehead to cover her mouth in shock. It was just too much for her to hear. All the hopelessness had just come crushing down onto her weakened soul. _

"_Don't cry, please. Mark, please, shut up, you're making it worse." He slowly reached out to wipe a few tears of her with his thumb, his hand still shaking as he still wasn't able to fully control his movements. "Case, please, don't cry. I know I wasn't a good boy to you. I've never been. Dad please, I promise I'll take the meds. Please, all of you just fucking shut up… please…" he feebly whispered into the pillow, burying his head into it with a look of sorrow and desperation. _

_Casey immediately tried to compose herself, despite the pitiful sight in front of her. "Derek, it's ok. I'm not crying. It's ok. I know you're a good person. We'll take the meds together, ok? Just where are th.."_

"_Don't tell Dad I didn't take them. Please. They said I was gonna be hospitalized if I…"_

"_How long have you been taking those meds for, Derek?"_

"_I don't know. I can't remember. It was quite a few years ago, I guess. But they never used to be as many as the ones I take now, though. I guess it started I first met the old Mark."_

"_The old Mark? How…"_

"_Nono, that Mark… I mean, everybody could see him. He used to be a friend of my Mom."_

"_Derek…"_

"_Me, Mom and him… My Mom would call me upstairs when… Baby Edwin kept crying all the time."_

"_Where was George?"_

"_At work. Every single time…" his voice broke down as he took a grip of her bare shoulders, jerking her closer to him. "I was naked, Casey." He breathed hard against her lips, tears forming into his eyes. "They were naked too. I was scared. They'd FUCK me, Case. But the good Mark would be there for me when they'd send back into my room. And so I knew I was safe."_

_Casey exhaled deeply, grazing his cheeks with her fingers, ever so gently. "That's why George…"_

"_One day I messed up. I just… MARK! IT WAS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!"_

_**A.N.= alright guys, that was the first chpt. I actually meant it to be a oneshot at first, but I'm contemplating on writing a few more chpts. Please Review and let me know what you think!**_

_**Loved it? Hated it? Lemme know! **_

_**Daniela 3 **_


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